'Everyone else is toxic but them': 30 People share the immediate red flags that someone is not a good person

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Mar 26, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

You can learn a lot about someone just by watching the way they treat other people. On this r/askreddit thread, people shared that, along with other ways to determine if someone's trustworthy as you get to know them. The answers are interesting and eye opening — and you can tell some people only know their answers from personal experiences. 

Some folks advised that you should keep an eye out for how people treat waiters or other service workers. If they're rude or dismissive towards them, that's a major sign that they don't treat people with basic respect. Another person suggested a very bright red flag, which is calling their exes or roommates crazy. If everyone around that person is "crazy," maybe the problem is actually them. 

Check out these useful tips below. Then, check out these people who just wanted their food served on plates, but instead, got apples on an iPad and raviolis on a clothesline. 

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  • 01
    Facial expression - r/AskReddit. Posted by u/ricky1g 94 58 What's a dead giveaway that someone is not a good person?
    via u/ricky1g
  • 02
    Gesture - 2 S amesn_84 Never taking accountability for anything
    via u/amesn_84
  • 03
    Font - I_am_dean Always talking s about other people when they aren't around.
    via u/I _am_dean
  • 04
    Font - PinkCupcakeXD. When telling you about issues in their life and everything is everyone else's fault/ no accountability
    via u/PinkCupcakeD
  • 05
    Font - mattmo910 if all their exes are crazy, they're crazy
    via u/mattmo910
  • 06
    Font - Run into one ar the a all day, you're the ar they're e. Run into ar *Not always, you could just be in a toxic environment or a naive people pleaser that's being gas lit into thinking you're the problem etc. The saying above merely points out that arseholes tend to create problems around them, don't take responsibility, complain alot about others and don't have any self awareness.
    via r/AskReddit
  • 07
    Font - sky_Driver88 I guess a subtle one is them treating you differently in public vs how they treat you privately. These can both go either way.
    via u/sky_Driver88
  • 08
    Font - RUk1dd1nG Me I've been having this issue with a "friend". Nice one on one, will help out when he can, but absolutely trashes me in front of others, especially women.
    via u/RUk1dd1nGMe
  • 09
    Font - bemybf People who are always trying to manipulate a situation from the smallest things to the bigger issues. It is exhausting to be around them.
    via u/bemybf
  • 10
    Product - lizzyd08 32 12 S How someone treats another person based on their job title. Anyone who treats a server, maid, garbage person, etc like c is just telling the world how much a piece they are. 11.9k Reply Share
    via u/lizzyd08
  • 11
    Font - MiddleZealousideal89 ✩ 5 ³ 2 S3 Treating people well only if they can benefit from them in some way. If they treat you well, but treat random people like s, they aren't good people. And they'll treat you like sh too if you ever stop being of use to them.
    via u/MiddleZealousideal89
  • 12
    Font - NYArtFan1 A complete lack of compassion, unless it's about themselves. Putting people down for fun. Never accepting responsibility for sty behavior. Everything is always about them. Everything. Even if you're going through something difficult, suddenly they've been through the same thing, but worse. Even when they're being "generous" it's for public display and not from a genuine place. Sulking and throwing fits to get their way. Yes, I am thinking of a specific person.
    via u/NYArtFan1
  • 13
    Mammal - forculus_of_rome If they brag about how they pulled a fast one on other people. As if to say how smart/slick they are and everyone else is stupid.
    via u/forculus_of_rome
  • 14
    Font - Little GreenNotebook A former friend was a habitual liar. I thought he had a mental disorder or something because of it. Or he thought he needed to impress me with his lies so we could be friends. Then one day he told me he's such a good liar and he's gotten so many things in life because he lies. He instantly got cut off. No contact for a year until I saw him recently at a mutual party. And still barely gave him the time of day. He was always using me. Good riddance.
    via u/LittleGreenNotebook
  • 15
    Rectangle - StockedAces I've always held that if someone gossips TO you then they'll most surely gossip ABOUT you to others. Also, if someone tells you something that they were told in confidence then you absolutely cannot trust them to keep anything you tell them to themselves, even if asked to. Big red flags. 1.9k Reply Share
    via u/StockedAces
  • 16
    Rectangle - Jcholley81 2 They never apologize. 3 S3 & 3 More
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  • 17
    Font - eyoo1109 Or their apology is them just listing out problems about other people. The classic "I'm sorry that you have a problem with my actions" instead of "I'm sorry I did something wrong"
    via u/ey0o1109
  • 18
    Font - CCDestroyer Oh, so you've met my landlord? Speaking of which: another sign is if they describe themselves as a good person ("nice guy", "reasonable", etc, like said landlord has). Anyone who has to tell you what their supposed positive qualities are, be it up front or especially as a defence when confronted with their own misconduct which in no way matches up with these positive descriptors.
    via u/CCDestroyer
  • 19
    Rectangle - sebabdukeboss20 23 It's always about them. They're always the hero or always the victim in their stories. Can't take criticism but probably dish it out to everyone else. They're never wrong. 23.3k Reply Share
    via u/sebabdukeboss20
  • 20
    Font - [deleted] Everyone else is toxic but then
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  • 21
    Rectangle - Purples_A_Fruit They constantly say or do things where their only justification for doing so is "It was just a joke" when called out on it. 15.4k Reply Share
    via u/Purples_A_Fruit
  • 22
    Human body - MindfulBlissness 窗Q2. When they cannot bring themselves to celebrate someone else's success.
    via u/MindfulBlissness
  • 23
    Font - metallicpink Someone who yells at you for crying
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  • 24
    Font - blueeyesredlipstick S2 A lot of times they'll straight up tell you. Anybody who gleefully tells you "I'm such an a e" or "I'm such a bi " is usually not joking, even if they say it while laughing.
    via u/blueeyesredlipstick
  • 25
    Mammal - TheBunk_TB "I'm such a b 11 they call this "prophecy"
    via u/TheBunk_TB
  • 26
    Handwriting - thatguy2650 Tinder profiles be like "Yeah, I'm pretty toxic." As if that's a good thing.
    via u/thatguy2650
  • 27
    Font - cypresswill44 So this should be obvious but it's not. As a guy, don't trust another guy if he cheats on his spouse. If he'll betray the closest person to him, he doesn't care about his friends either, trust me
    via u/cypresswill44
  • 28
    Human body - PizzaDelivery313 throwing trash out of a car window, littering
    via u/PizzaDelivery313
  • 29
    Font - Kychiii Who else is just scrolling through answers to either find out if you're a bad person...or looking for an excuse to call yourself a bad person. Edit: I see we're all avid self deprecation practitioners
    via u/Kychiii
  • 30
    Font - [deleted] Seeing as half of these comments are not actually describing bad people, I'm going to go ahead and say people who constantly judge others on the minor flaws in their character. Some people have very low self esteem, some people have ADHD, some people are trying to unlearn toxic traits that they were brought up with. Nobody is perfect and it's never so black and white. If you instantly write someone off as a bad person because they cut you off while you're talking, they always ta
    via u/deleted

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opinion ask reddit crazy people red flags rude
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